I golf to forget how boring my job is

When you have no way of escaping the agony of a boring job,  you can at least try to forget it the second you step out of the ‘prison’. Doing something that occupies your wandering mind helps too. Some people do meditation, cooking, yoga and playing a musical instrument. I play golf. Even the thought of the golf course soothes my soul. I find golfing very effective. When I’m out in the open air, I can’t think of anything else but focusing my eyes and mind on the beautiful greenery (and sometimes the animals ; I just saw a fox in the St Quentin golf course last Sunday), and of course the target. In any circumstances in life, having targets keep distractions and depressions away. The mind is a curious thing. It wonders and wanders, and for many people, too often aimlessly. So, lets golf to stay fit and sane !

Waiting for kitty

I’m so excited ! We’re about to bring a kitten home. I can’t stop thinking about it.

Monday blues

Every morning, I say o God, give me strength. I know that I’m very blessed. I have a job that pays all my bills. I find my freshly-laundered bras and panties in my drawers (thanks, mon petit mari). I don’t have an annoyingly gossipy MIL. I’m a house-owner. I have eliminated hypocritical people from my ‘friends list’ during my 20s. Basically, I’m left with the good stuff.

 

Except one thing. I dread going to work.

 

The Words are very wise. We’ll never be happy if we don’t count our blessings. In some ways, I’m still surviving because I do that.

 

It’s easy to forget that once I’m sitting at my workspace. Like a friend describing work stress, it could envelope your whole body. You don’t feel sick, but you just don’t feel well. You feel as if bad energies are encircling you.

 

Am I being trapped? Not exactly. But sort of. I’m not in a battle to climb the management ladder ; I’m not interested. I’m fine in my position but it comes with a price. I can’t do my work in tranquility. I can’t sit quietly. I have to pretend that I’m overworked. I have to shout to be made known my presence. I have to beg for my bonus and pay raise. I have to come up with the best possible small talks. The thing is, if you behave like an adult, your career would be doomed. It’s a circus here.  

 

Let me describe how the job is. It’s like taking medicine or locking your car. One pill each time, three times a day. Press once on the remote control to lock the car. You must have once in a while asked yourself a stupid question. Just five minutes after walking away from your car, you asked yourself “have I locked the car?”. Or “have I taken my medicine during lunch time?”. The action becomes so routine and automatic, it’s being incorporated into your reflex. You stop thinking about doing it. Basically, you stop thinking. Does it bother you if you stop thinking to do your job? Oh, yes.

 

It’s Monday again. Déjà vu.

 

 

No demand, no supply

I was reading some articles from my course on banks and capital markets. I just started this module this week and the course materials provide a broad picture of the subject, I was just touching on the beginnings of the financial sector, on why banks and capital markets exist, why the divergence, its different development progress in different industrialised countries.

 

One interesting point that made an impression on me is the fact that the French financial markets were stagnated between the 1930s and 1980s. There were two theories which attempt to explain (not particularly about the stagnation of the French markets, but in general) what caused the advancement in financial markets. The first one says that it was the legal system that advance or impede the markets while the second theory suggests that there were industrial incumbents that hinder certain countries’ market development.

 

The first theory says that it was the civil legal system being the reason why the French markets did not advance as well as the anglo-saxon ones. Recall that the French uses the civil legal system which is based on laws made by thinkers/scholars who spent their whole life doing just that. The common law system, on the other hand is applied in the anglo-saxon worlds and it is collection of laws made by judges. So, the writers of the first theory found (with empirical evidence) that the financial markets in countries using the civil legal system are less developed than those that adopt the common law system. But the theory couldn’t explain why that is so.

 

The second theory proposes another reason for this phenomenon. The authors say that there are industrial incumbents who are powerful enough to manipulate policy-making in relation to financial market development. It means that the existing industry players who were already there in the first place; have interests in not making money (through the financial markets) available for financing new start-ups. These players have sufficient retained earnings to finance their new projects, so they don’t need banks’ or outsiders’ money. It’s simple economics; when there’s no demand for the product (i.e. money), there won’t be supply.

 

I ask myself, why no demand? Entrepreneurship is perhaps the driver of demand. When I first arrived in France, I have noticed almost immediately that there aren’t many small or start-up enterprises here compared to Asia. An easy example is food. If you want to do food business in France, it’s restaurant or nothing. In Asia, you can start a hawker stall and it’s relatively easier to do that than to start a restaurant from the beginning. Any business needs some kind of financing, even a small food stall. So here you are, a potential borrower.   

 

French people are also reluctant to get out of the comfort zone to venture into entrepreneurship. Those who do, are motivated, brilliant and well-rewarded. The average people are usually quite happy to be employed by big enterprises and the public service. The workforce in the public service is huge. Perhaps it’s just the culture. Or it’s just that they are not hungry enough. Or perhaps there’s just too much bureaucracy involved. What are the other hindrances to entrepreneurship in France?

 

 

 

 

Thought of the day

I’m just wondering how one could become cocky.

 

Could it be due to high self-esteem?

 

Or is it just plain ignorance of one’s own weaknesses?

Poor lonely cat

It is a common belief that cats are independent and perhaps anti-social. It is true that they don’t need much attention from humans as they are capable of taking care of themselves; toileting, defending themselves and even finding food. But that doesn’t mean that they don’t like human contacts. Maybe stray cats are more reserved on this subject but cats which have regular contacts with humans, do want their regular greetings and physical contact.

 

A recent incident proved that Mon Chat missed having daily contact with us. We were away two weeks ago in Lisbon and the cat was left alone for 3 days. She must have felt abandoned and lost her self-esteem. On the first day of our return, we welcomed her into our house as usual after feeding her. She sniffed around and looked a little suspicious. We were surprised when she turned her backside around towards the radiator and…..there, she sprayed! She has never peed nor poo-ed in our apartment before. We knew that cats are very particular about toileting and we were thinking that this incident must have nothing to do with hygiene problem. As we read up about cat behaviours, we learned that spraying is an action carried out to mark territories and also to boost confidence. Spraying is not intended for the same purpose as peeing, which is to relieve the bladder.

 

During the same period when we went away, there was another cat in the neighbourhood who hung around often outside our apartment and we could sense that Mon Chat feels threatened. When we put pieces of information together, we concluded that Mon Chat felt abandoned and insecure and this resulted in such an unusual behaviour.

 

We quickly put back the usual schedules in place, i.e. usual feeding in the morning, a quick greeting during breakfast and a caress in the evening. Little by little, her confidence is restored. About the sprayed radiator, I removed the pee straight away after the “unfortunate” incident (it smells!) with detergents. I wanted something to cover the pee odour and I read that there is such a spray that replicates the odour of the cat’s face and chin and it’s supposed to make the cat feel relaxed. The closest product I could find at Truffaut’s is catnip spray. It says on its label that the odour will make the cat feel drunk and happy. Of course, I giggled when I read this. Anyway, it appeared to me as a good enough alternative to just make Mon Chat forget about the whole incident and not to repeat it.

 

The product worked, funnily though. When the cat first realised that there’s something about the area near the radiator, she sniffed and examined the surface. Then she licked the surface as if there’s something to eat (actually there was nothing). We observed her moves and were almost shrieking at the sight of any squatting positions. But spraying never happened anymore. The “drug” worked on the cat!  She looked cheerful.

 

She’s now as contended as before.

Tradition of generosity

Our Mr. President’s famous quote “work more to earn more” is true in many senses but of course, with many economic factors such as inflation and taxes getting in the way, we actually have to work doubly hard to achieve a significant pay increase. Nevertheless, I was brought up in my culture to work hard in order to have a comfortable life. I always wonder if I would get complacent when I move to France. As I adapt to the French culture, I start to have work-life balance and I appreciate my personal time. Regardless of the perks I’m getting more than I used to, I still feel the desire to work harder to earn more. We’re not badly paid but we’re not exactly very well-off either. But I can’t say that my husband and I would have the quality of life that my parents are having back in Malaysia. My dad had worked hard and earned decent enough to provide us a home independent of debts. He was determined to have my education fund ready by the time I was 19 so that I could pursue my bachelor’s degree in the UK. My parents showered me with the best wedding gifts and the most beautiful wedding banquet in a classy hotel. I conclude that if my dad had not worked hard to be well-rewarded, he would not have been able to give so much to me. As I reflect on this, how I wish I could pass such values and generosity to my children. I dream of putting my family in a comfortable home in one of the most beautiful French villages. I wish giving my children romantic wedding banquets in l’Abbaye des Vaux de Cernay, offering the most precious gifts….. all the generosity that I wish to pass on from generation to generation and that the tradition would continue.