Cat loves computer

Evita seems to fancy the computer, be it my aged laptop or the latest HP desktop we got just a few days ago.

New Technology

Writing from Windows Live Writer feels like composing an email from Microsoft Outlook for Hotmail. I’m new to this. Hope it makes my life easier.

This is like a test mail. I hope everything turns out OK when I click Publish. Here I go……

Attention, please!

I didn’t realise how much our kitten adores me until my husband ‘accused me of stealing the kitten’ from him one evening. He was in the middle of coaxing kitty to lay on this laps so that he could have her company to watch the tele. When I appeared in the living room to collect my glass of water that I left absent-mindedly after the dinner, everyone jumped at my presence. Kitty rushed to my legs as if begging me to carry her, which I did (and it was a mistake). That’s when my husband jumped at the expectation that he would lose kitty’s attention as soon as I’m around. I tried to return kitty to my hubby but she came back to me. So I tried again and this time I fleed from the living room, leaving my husband persuading kitty for attention once again.

Anywhere but her bed

She sleeps on the couch, on the ottoman, on a chair, even on my feet. Anywhere but her own bed.

Anxious

Have you come across a day where many things go around your head at the same time ? Looks like my answer is yes for every day. Right now, I keep reminding myself of booking our air tickets to Hong Kong on the internet so that I could get the best prices. It feels like knowing that which shop you could get the winning lottery ticket but you just haven’t gotten down to the shop to pay for it and collect it.

A minute ago, I logged into my online university account to check for announcements and latest postings by my virtual classmates and tutors. Someone just mentioned something from an exercise that I could only deal with tonight and I have no idea what he’s talking about. It makes me anxious if I know that someone knows something that I don’t, especially concerning my course.  Here’s another checklist item that keeps ringing in my head till I get to see that famous question number 3.1.

The most disturbing thought that haunts me is the task at work. I just can’t seem to get the coding to breach a counterparty ratio. There’s a numerical limit to deal with. Then there are ratings. And it’s concerning exotic products that I hardly comprehend. At times like these, I wonder if I’m not that good at this job or all these things exist for no purposeful use.

At the same time, I just feel like slamming the turkey into the wall. Gee…just the image alone calms my nerves down. Feeling much better. Will deal with the rest later.

 

I want to do many things but work

I wake up to the same question every morning.
Why do I exist to do this job?
I have better things to do.
Many.

Drawing and painting Evita. Create an e-business. Do my assignments. Finish off Ken Follet's novel. Sketching the layout for our future garden. Create a food blog or a cat blog. Make babies.

Evita at 3 months

She's growing stronger, wittier and crazier!

Evita has grown bigger and stronger in 10 days

Amazing!

Her motor skills have improved unbelievably fast. She can now manage complex manouvers such as walking along the thin chair frame. She balances herself on my shoulder while I'm walking.

She's also responding to her name. She's getting very good at hiding and not letting us find her. ]
[[[[[[





"ghbbbbbbbbbJH

and she can even type the keyboard.... the above was her contribution.

Meet Evita!

We have Evita for 5 days now. She’s such a darling.

Treating 'myopia'

I realised that ever since I left university and started working, I lost grip on current affairs and general knowledge. All I had managed to get were some local news in Singapore, which were not exactly exciting (e.g. murder cases involving a foreign maid, the latest mall opening, etc.). Time was also a factor. Work was hectic. In fact, work was robbing my life. What good is work taking up all your precious hours when you could have used it wisely to acquire knowledge. Even if you don’t intend to invest your time, you could have at least use it for pleasure. The problem exists among many workacolholic Asians. On hindsight, it was such a waste to spend more than the optimal 8 hours at work as I have observed the diminishing marginal returns on productivity.

What I really yearned to do when I missed my personal time was reading and acquiring general or technical knowledge. I have always wondered how much can I learn. I often said to myself, if only I could understand how this complex universe of financial system actually works. How did banks and markets come about ? How do we get ourselves in financial crises ? What are the dynamics of all possible financial instruments in this giant universe ?

When you work in a financial sector, your participation probably involve only 1% of the whole system. Your knowledge base and state of mind become so limited that you become myopic. Very often, friends from outside of the financial sector ask you what you think of this and that, and especially the crisis. I think that most of us (including myself) who deal with so many narrow tasks at work, shamelessly not having much real contributions to the discussion. We could offer our two cents but it’s all speculation. How worthy is our opinion then ?

I can’t emphasise enough that we should read, especially now that we have super access to the vast web of information on the internet. The problem is, there’s too much information. It can be quite overwhelming, really. To my surprise, there exists many discussion papers on financial crises. Both the practitioners and academia have rather interesting opinions and findings from the past and recent events. I find that particularly useful to understand the mechanism of banks and why it is susceptible to failures. So, are these informations relevant to a layman ? I would say yes, if you are curious in the matter. Some of the models proposed in academic papers can appear to be intimidating. If you find that so, try to get as much from the introduction and the conclusion.

I golf to forget how boring my job is

When you have no way of escaping the agony of a boring job,  you can at least try to forget it the second you step out of the ‘prison’. Doing something that occupies your wandering mind helps too. Some people do meditation, cooking, yoga and playing a musical instrument. I play golf. Even the thought of the golf course soothes my soul. I find golfing very effective. When I’m out in the open air, I can’t think of anything else but focusing my eyes and mind on the beautiful greenery (and sometimes the animals ; I just saw a fox in the St Quentin golf course last Sunday), and of course the target. In any circumstances in life, having targets keep distractions and depressions away. The mind is a curious thing. It wonders and wanders, and for many people, too often aimlessly. So, lets golf to stay fit and sane !

Waiting for kitty

I’m so excited ! We’re about to bring a kitten home. I can’t stop thinking about it.

Monday blues

Every morning, I say o God, give me strength. I know that I’m very blessed. I have a job that pays all my bills. I find my freshly-laundered bras and panties in my drawers (thanks, mon petit mari). I don’t have an annoyingly gossipy MIL. I’m a house-owner. I have eliminated hypocritical people from my ‘friends list’ during my 20s. Basically, I’m left with the good stuff.

 

Except one thing. I dread going to work.

 

The Words are very wise. We’ll never be happy if we don’t count our blessings. In some ways, I’m still surviving because I do that.

 

It’s easy to forget that once I’m sitting at my workspace. Like a friend describing work stress, it could envelope your whole body. You don’t feel sick, but you just don’t feel well. You feel as if bad energies are encircling you.

 

Am I being trapped? Not exactly. But sort of. I’m not in a battle to climb the management ladder ; I’m not interested. I’m fine in my position but it comes with a price. I can’t do my work in tranquility. I can’t sit quietly. I have to pretend that I’m overworked. I have to shout to be made known my presence. I have to beg for my bonus and pay raise. I have to come up with the best possible small talks. The thing is, if you behave like an adult, your career would be doomed. It’s a circus here.  

 

Let me describe how the job is. It’s like taking medicine or locking your car. One pill each time, three times a day. Press once on the remote control to lock the car. You must have once in a while asked yourself a stupid question. Just five minutes after walking away from your car, you asked yourself “have I locked the car?”. Or “have I taken my medicine during lunch time?”. The action becomes so routine and automatic, it’s being incorporated into your reflex. You stop thinking about doing it. Basically, you stop thinking. Does it bother you if you stop thinking to do your job? Oh, yes.

 

It’s Monday again. Déjà vu.

 

 

No demand, no supply

I was reading some articles from my course on banks and capital markets. I just started this module this week and the course materials provide a broad picture of the subject, I was just touching on the beginnings of the financial sector, on why banks and capital markets exist, why the divergence, its different development progress in different industrialised countries.

 

One interesting point that made an impression on me is the fact that the French financial markets were stagnated between the 1930s and 1980s. There were two theories which attempt to explain (not particularly about the stagnation of the French markets, but in general) what caused the advancement in financial markets. The first one says that it was the legal system that advance or impede the markets while the second theory suggests that there were industrial incumbents that hinder certain countries’ market development.

 

The first theory says that it was the civil legal system being the reason why the French markets did not advance as well as the anglo-saxon ones. Recall that the French uses the civil legal system which is based on laws made by thinkers/scholars who spent their whole life doing just that. The common law system, on the other hand is applied in the anglo-saxon worlds and it is collection of laws made by judges. So, the writers of the first theory found (with empirical evidence) that the financial markets in countries using the civil legal system are less developed than those that adopt the common law system. But the theory couldn’t explain why that is so.

 

The second theory proposes another reason for this phenomenon. The authors say that there are industrial incumbents who are powerful enough to manipulate policy-making in relation to financial market development. It means that the existing industry players who were already there in the first place; have interests in not making money (through the financial markets) available for financing new start-ups. These players have sufficient retained earnings to finance their new projects, so they don’t need banks’ or outsiders’ money. It’s simple economics; when there’s no demand for the product (i.e. money), there won’t be supply.

 

I ask myself, why no demand? Entrepreneurship is perhaps the driver of demand. When I first arrived in France, I have noticed almost immediately that there aren’t many small or start-up enterprises here compared to Asia. An easy example is food. If you want to do food business in France, it’s restaurant or nothing. In Asia, you can start a hawker stall and it’s relatively easier to do that than to start a restaurant from the beginning. Any business needs some kind of financing, even a small food stall. So here you are, a potential borrower.   

 

French people are also reluctant to get out of the comfort zone to venture into entrepreneurship. Those who do, are motivated, brilliant and well-rewarded. The average people are usually quite happy to be employed by big enterprises and the public service. The workforce in the public service is huge. Perhaps it’s just the culture. Or it’s just that they are not hungry enough. Or perhaps there’s just too much bureaucracy involved. What are the other hindrances to entrepreneurship in France?

 

 

 

 

Thought of the day

I’m just wondering how one could become cocky.

 

Could it be due to high self-esteem?

 

Or is it just plain ignorance of one’s own weaknesses?

Poor lonely cat

It is a common belief that cats are independent and perhaps anti-social. It is true that they don’t need much attention from humans as they are capable of taking care of themselves; toileting, defending themselves and even finding food. But that doesn’t mean that they don’t like human contacts. Maybe stray cats are more reserved on this subject but cats which have regular contacts with humans, do want their regular greetings and physical contact.

 

A recent incident proved that Mon Chat missed having daily contact with us. We were away two weeks ago in Lisbon and the cat was left alone for 3 days. She must have felt abandoned and lost her self-esteem. On the first day of our return, we welcomed her into our house as usual after feeding her. She sniffed around and looked a little suspicious. We were surprised when she turned her backside around towards the radiator and…..there, she sprayed! She has never peed nor poo-ed in our apartment before. We knew that cats are very particular about toileting and we were thinking that this incident must have nothing to do with hygiene problem. As we read up about cat behaviours, we learned that spraying is an action carried out to mark territories and also to boost confidence. Spraying is not intended for the same purpose as peeing, which is to relieve the bladder.

 

During the same period when we went away, there was another cat in the neighbourhood who hung around often outside our apartment and we could sense that Mon Chat feels threatened. When we put pieces of information together, we concluded that Mon Chat felt abandoned and insecure and this resulted in such an unusual behaviour.

 

We quickly put back the usual schedules in place, i.e. usual feeding in the morning, a quick greeting during breakfast and a caress in the evening. Little by little, her confidence is restored. About the sprayed radiator, I removed the pee straight away after the “unfortunate” incident (it smells!) with detergents. I wanted something to cover the pee odour and I read that there is such a spray that replicates the odour of the cat’s face and chin and it’s supposed to make the cat feel relaxed. The closest product I could find at Truffaut’s is catnip spray. It says on its label that the odour will make the cat feel drunk and happy. Of course, I giggled when I read this. Anyway, it appeared to me as a good enough alternative to just make Mon Chat forget about the whole incident and not to repeat it.

 

The product worked, funnily though. When the cat first realised that there’s something about the area near the radiator, she sniffed and examined the surface. Then she licked the surface as if there’s something to eat (actually there was nothing). We observed her moves and were almost shrieking at the sight of any squatting positions. But spraying never happened anymore. The “drug” worked on the cat!  She looked cheerful.

 

She’s now as contended as before.

Tradition of generosity

Our Mr. President’s famous quote “work more to earn more” is true in many senses but of course, with many economic factors such as inflation and taxes getting in the way, we actually have to work doubly hard to achieve a significant pay increase. Nevertheless, I was brought up in my culture to work hard in order to have a comfortable life. I always wonder if I would get complacent when I move to France. As I adapt to the French culture, I start to have work-life balance and I appreciate my personal time. Regardless of the perks I’m getting more than I used to, I still feel the desire to work harder to earn more. We’re not badly paid but we’re not exactly very well-off either. But I can’t say that my husband and I would have the quality of life that my parents are having back in Malaysia. My dad had worked hard and earned decent enough to provide us a home independent of debts. He was determined to have my education fund ready by the time I was 19 so that I could pursue my bachelor’s degree in the UK. My parents showered me with the best wedding gifts and the most beautiful wedding banquet in a classy hotel. I conclude that if my dad had not worked hard to be well-rewarded, he would not have been able to give so much to me. As I reflect on this, how I wish I could pass such values and generosity to my children. I dream of putting my family in a comfortable home in one of the most beautiful French villages. I wish giving my children romantic wedding banquets in l’Abbaye des Vaux de Cernay, offering the most precious gifts….. all the generosity that I wish to pass on from generation to generation and that the tradition would continue.

Mother's Day

It’s confusing that Mother’s Day is celebrated on different days in different parts of the world. This year, the Malaysians celebrate it on 13 May, whereas it’s not even in the same month in France (it falls on the 7^th of June). I have no idea why the different dates. So whenever I live in a different continent, I end up getting a surprised response when I phone my mom to give my warm wishes.

 

It’s not only getting a surprising “huh?!” from the end of the phone that really bothers me. We have missed celebration together as a family for many years. I haven’t lived with parents since 1995. I have not only been away from home but away from my country. If I don’t remember wrongly, there were one or two occasions where I went back to KL to visit my parents and which coincide with Mother’s Day. Since then, I could only wish her over the phone. Sometimes I don’t even realise that the celebration has already passed in Malaysia. I guess she understood now (that the dates are different in different countries) and not mistaken me as an ungrateful child when I don’t call her on that day.

 

Fortunately my mom has many loving friends who are with her in my absence. I know that her fellow “aunty” friends fancy going out together to celebrate festivals and special days. Well, actually, I suppose they like to celebrate just about anything ‘cos the idea is to enjoy good food with good friends! It’s really nice to have such a culture. My mom gets to enjoy the food nevertheless and also to hear from me.

 

I hope one day that we could do more celebrations in Malaysia, with my parents of course. That’s possible during my retirement. I have in mind spending 6 months in France and 6 months in Malaysia. Retirement is when we can really call it a day and leave us alone; we want to live wherever we want. Malaysia is an obvious choice. Friends and family would still be there. It would be affordable for us to live comfortably only with our pension funds. The spicy food, blazing sun, language (more and more people speak English) and culture are not new to my husband. This is going to be like our yearly trip back anyway. It’s just extended from 3 weeks to 6 months. Oh, it feels so good just by thinking about it. Having enough time to absorb the heat, to consume the most delicious asam laksa and durian, to feel the soft white sands on its beaches…..and lots more. Well, it’s not just about us really, the retirement and such. I would also like to spend the last years of the lives of my parents with them. Call it catching up missed opportunities or what, we know that we want to spend these times together after being physically distanced for a long time. And also, there is a Chinese saying; your children would do the same to you as you did to your own parents. Treat them dearly just as they have taken care of us.

Study package

Oh boy. I’m getting worried as my study materials, which were sent out last Thursday from London, have yet to arrive. Poor school, having to pay high for DHL’s express service for speedy delivery, only to be wasted because it’s taking more than 3 days now. It’s as if, any matters to do with courier services (as a matter of fact, any services), once touching down on the land of the Gauls, things turn to take on a slow motion. It gets worse when your matter falls into the hands of the imbeciles, ‘cos then, your package will take on a cartoon motion. Gosh, I shall try to control my imagination to stay sane and zen.

 

I must give credit to my school though. If I haven’t mentioned their name before, here’s a good opportunity. I’m not trying to do publicity here. But I’m a strong believer of commending people for providing good services. It encourages the services community to strive for excellence. Oh, well, the school name, please! It’s The Centre for Financial & Management Studies, School of Oriental and African Studies University of London. All my questions sent my email have been, so far, answered within 3 working days. Information and instructions are clearly written on their website. The admin staff alerted me immediately on the day they received my payment of academic fees (you guys are quicker than my banker!). Any matters that require my attention, I get updated promptly. Well done!

Ready, steady...go

That's it. My long distance course is starting in 3 days' time. That's if the courrier services make the delivery as promised T+1, i.e. tomorrow. Before mid-day to be precise. On one hand, I'm really excited about diving into the materials and intrigue myself by finding all the answers that I've been asking in the course of my work. On the other hand, I'm a little scared. What if I can't cope. What if my confidence slips away while discovering that I have trouble with maths and writing good arguments for my assignments. What if I don't have enough time for my husband....and later baby and household chores.

We'll see....no wonder why having time-management skills is an asset nowadays. By hook or by crook, I'm determined to get through this this time.

(New) Rhythm & (Monday) blues

This month has been superb. We have long weekend almost every week. It feels like working for a few days and then rest for a few days and then so on. I like this new rhythm. How I wish it lasts forever. The only possiblity to make this a reality is when I have school-going kids and when I decide to take a pay cut in order to have a permanent Wednesday off (for the kids). This is one thing I like about living in France. Never mind about the pay cut, time is gold!

I'm so looking forward to our weekend getaway in Lisbon end of this month. Yeah, that's another long weekend in France. We've been reasonable and not disposing our bonus on entertainment and holidays. We're saving up for something.....BIG. I don't know about you, but I'm a strong believer in savings. Never mind about not going to the fancy Mauritius or Maldives for a beach holiday, having hard cash in hand is king!

Here's what our big project is about. Buying a house. House...as in rooted on the ground. The idea seems overwhelming at first when we first discovered the price tags in the Parisian suburbs. Again, we're reasonable people, we're not buying a chateau. The range of options in the Parisian region is wide enough for us to make an optimum selection of size, location, amenities, authenticity, etc......vs. price.

Lets see...what will we be doing to fully enjoy this weekend. Oh, did I mention that this upcoming weekend is also 3 days long? We have taken tickets to see the Andy Warhol exhibition at the Grand Palais. We would also need to do some household chores. A major re-organisation in our study room is needed as I will start my master's degree programme in June. I'm looking forward to studying again but I feel anxious at the same time. It has been a long time since I have done my bachelor's. My maths might be a bit rusty, I think I should be able to recall the concepts quickly once I'm shown some examples.

We shall do some sports too. Golf. Sounds like a plan. Yoga, swimming, walking.....anything but working.

Life goes on

Having lived in Asia during the SARS period, I learned that life must go on with the swine flu. The key, though, is with caution. And I don’t mean being paranoid every time we step out of our house. My colleague is having this fear that he might die the next day by catching this new string of flu. I thought he was being paranoid. But then again, I don’t blame him. Recalling back the days in Singapore, I was really scared. We didn’t know what and how this came about. It could strike anyone anytime.

Thank God, I survived that phase.

At every crisis, we learn. We learned first of all, to put hygiene at top priority. We re-commit to simple habits such as washing hands with soap regularly especially after using the toilet and before eating and sneezing and coughing into a tissue paper. We watch our health by exercising and eating well. We need to stay en forme so that our immune system is ready to fight off that prowling virus.

I remember avoiding crowded places and travelling during that period. It’s a simple rule of probability that you have a higher risk of exposure by having more contact with other people. I’m not only talking about direct contact. Apparently, close proximity poses a similar risk.

Finally, stay positive and have courage.

Mon Chat

Meet Mon Chat. We don't know her name. So that's how we call her.

This is the cat that has appeared in several entries in our blog. We don't know if she belongs to anyone in our neighbourhood. She used to go from house to house for food and lodging. We suspect that she ran away from a nasty master. Her history remains a mystery to us and she never talked about it.....

Since she got to know us better, she has been coming to our place regularly. And now, she's practically living with us. At first, we thought she comes for the food. Then we realised that she's not that mercenary after all. On some days, even salmon skin doesn't interest her. She comes to see us.

I think that she's pretty happy to get daily "bonjour" and caress from us, sleeping in her box on rainy days and lying on the balcony on sunny days. Her life is worry-free. She makes us realise that many simple joys bring great happiness.

Do you know your job?

Is bankers’ reputation tarnished? I am seeing headlines on banking scandals on the front page every other day. No doubt some reports have simply been played up by the media; the current financial crisis is real. The chain of events in 2008 made me start thinking about some issues. Job security is obviously on everyone’s mind. But here is a very fundamental question I ask myself: do we really know what we do?

 

When the door is closed, it means OCCUPIED!

This is probably my first complaint on my blog. I’ve been trying to be politically-correct in my blog after all this while. So finally, I have to b*tch on my blog about something that I’ve been holding on.  I just came out from the ladies, actually. I’ve been keeping this for a long time and I have to let it out and unfortunately, my blog seems to be the most convenient outlet at the moment.

 

There are 3 toilets in the ladies’ room. When a toilet is occupied, it’s closed and locked and you can normally tell (unless your eyesight is challenged) by looking at the colour code of the toilets “status”. Red means it’s occupied and in this ladies’ room, the individual toilet doors are normally left open if it’s not occupied.

 

There is someone who consistently tries to storm into an occupied toilet when there are 2 others available with its doors wide open. What is she thinking about??!!!!! I just want my 2 minutes’ privacy doing my business at peace and I can’t even have that! So it happened again this morning, and I was furious! I have to confront this person the next time when I’m done with my business fast enough. She gotta stop this rudeness and stupidity.