Thought of the day

I’m just wondering how one could become cocky.

 

Could it be due to high self-esteem?

 

Or is it just plain ignorance of one’s own weaknesses?

Poor lonely cat

It is a common belief that cats are independent and perhaps anti-social. It is true that they don’t need much attention from humans as they are capable of taking care of themselves; toileting, defending themselves and even finding food. But that doesn’t mean that they don’t like human contacts. Maybe stray cats are more reserved on this subject but cats which have regular contacts with humans, do want their regular greetings and physical contact.

 

A recent incident proved that Mon Chat missed having daily contact with us. We were away two weeks ago in Lisbon and the cat was left alone for 3 days. She must have felt abandoned and lost her self-esteem. On the first day of our return, we welcomed her into our house as usual after feeding her. She sniffed around and looked a little suspicious. We were surprised when she turned her backside around towards the radiator and…..there, she sprayed! She has never peed nor poo-ed in our apartment before. We knew that cats are very particular about toileting and we were thinking that this incident must have nothing to do with hygiene problem. As we read up about cat behaviours, we learned that spraying is an action carried out to mark territories and also to boost confidence. Spraying is not intended for the same purpose as peeing, which is to relieve the bladder.

 

During the same period when we went away, there was another cat in the neighbourhood who hung around often outside our apartment and we could sense that Mon Chat feels threatened. When we put pieces of information together, we concluded that Mon Chat felt abandoned and insecure and this resulted in such an unusual behaviour.

 

We quickly put back the usual schedules in place, i.e. usual feeding in the morning, a quick greeting during breakfast and a caress in the evening. Little by little, her confidence is restored. About the sprayed radiator, I removed the pee straight away after the “unfortunate” incident (it smells!) with detergents. I wanted something to cover the pee odour and I read that there is such a spray that replicates the odour of the cat’s face and chin and it’s supposed to make the cat feel relaxed. The closest product I could find at Truffaut’s is catnip spray. It says on its label that the odour will make the cat feel drunk and happy. Of course, I giggled when I read this. Anyway, it appeared to me as a good enough alternative to just make Mon Chat forget about the whole incident and not to repeat it.

 

The product worked, funnily though. When the cat first realised that there’s something about the area near the radiator, she sniffed and examined the surface. Then she licked the surface as if there’s something to eat (actually there was nothing). We observed her moves and were almost shrieking at the sight of any squatting positions. But spraying never happened anymore. The “drug” worked on the cat!  She looked cheerful.

 

She’s now as contended as before.

Tradition of generosity

Our Mr. President’s famous quote “work more to earn more” is true in many senses but of course, with many economic factors such as inflation and taxes getting in the way, we actually have to work doubly hard to achieve a significant pay increase. Nevertheless, I was brought up in my culture to work hard in order to have a comfortable life. I always wonder if I would get complacent when I move to France. As I adapt to the French culture, I start to have work-life balance and I appreciate my personal time. Regardless of the perks I’m getting more than I used to, I still feel the desire to work harder to earn more. We’re not badly paid but we’re not exactly very well-off either. But I can’t say that my husband and I would have the quality of life that my parents are having back in Malaysia. My dad had worked hard and earned decent enough to provide us a home independent of debts. He was determined to have my education fund ready by the time I was 19 so that I could pursue my bachelor’s degree in the UK. My parents showered me with the best wedding gifts and the most beautiful wedding banquet in a classy hotel. I conclude that if my dad had not worked hard to be well-rewarded, he would not have been able to give so much to me. As I reflect on this, how I wish I could pass such values and generosity to my children. I dream of putting my family in a comfortable home in one of the most beautiful French villages. I wish giving my children romantic wedding banquets in l’Abbaye des Vaux de Cernay, offering the most precious gifts….. all the generosity that I wish to pass on from generation to generation and that the tradition would continue.

Mother's Day

It’s confusing that Mother’s Day is celebrated on different days in different parts of the world. This year, the Malaysians celebrate it on 13 May, whereas it’s not even in the same month in France (it falls on the 7^th of June). I have no idea why the different dates. So whenever I live in a different continent, I end up getting a surprised response when I phone my mom to give my warm wishes.

 

It’s not only getting a surprising “huh?!” from the end of the phone that really bothers me. We have missed celebration together as a family for many years. I haven’t lived with parents since 1995. I have not only been away from home but away from my country. If I don’t remember wrongly, there were one or two occasions where I went back to KL to visit my parents and which coincide with Mother’s Day. Since then, I could only wish her over the phone. Sometimes I don’t even realise that the celebration has already passed in Malaysia. I guess she understood now (that the dates are different in different countries) and not mistaken me as an ungrateful child when I don’t call her on that day.

 

Fortunately my mom has many loving friends who are with her in my absence. I know that her fellow “aunty” friends fancy going out together to celebrate festivals and special days. Well, actually, I suppose they like to celebrate just about anything ‘cos the idea is to enjoy good food with good friends! It’s really nice to have such a culture. My mom gets to enjoy the food nevertheless and also to hear from me.

 

I hope one day that we could do more celebrations in Malaysia, with my parents of course. That’s possible during my retirement. I have in mind spending 6 months in France and 6 months in Malaysia. Retirement is when we can really call it a day and leave us alone; we want to live wherever we want. Malaysia is an obvious choice. Friends and family would still be there. It would be affordable for us to live comfortably only with our pension funds. The spicy food, blazing sun, language (more and more people speak English) and culture are not new to my husband. This is going to be like our yearly trip back anyway. It’s just extended from 3 weeks to 6 months. Oh, it feels so good just by thinking about it. Having enough time to absorb the heat, to consume the most delicious asam laksa and durian, to feel the soft white sands on its beaches…..and lots more. Well, it’s not just about us really, the retirement and such. I would also like to spend the last years of the lives of my parents with them. Call it catching up missed opportunities or what, we know that we want to spend these times together after being physically distanced for a long time. And also, there is a Chinese saying; your children would do the same to you as you did to your own parents. Treat them dearly just as they have taken care of us.

Study package

Oh boy. I’m getting worried as my study materials, which were sent out last Thursday from London, have yet to arrive. Poor school, having to pay high for DHL’s express service for speedy delivery, only to be wasted because it’s taking more than 3 days now. It’s as if, any matters to do with courier services (as a matter of fact, any services), once touching down on the land of the Gauls, things turn to take on a slow motion. It gets worse when your matter falls into the hands of the imbeciles, ‘cos then, your package will take on a cartoon motion. Gosh, I shall try to control my imagination to stay sane and zen.

 

I must give credit to my school though. If I haven’t mentioned their name before, here’s a good opportunity. I’m not trying to do publicity here. But I’m a strong believer of commending people for providing good services. It encourages the services community to strive for excellence. Oh, well, the school name, please! It’s The Centre for Financial & Management Studies, School of Oriental and African Studies University of London. All my questions sent my email have been, so far, answered within 3 working days. Information and instructions are clearly written on their website. The admin staff alerted me immediately on the day they received my payment of academic fees (you guys are quicker than my banker!). Any matters that require my attention, I get updated promptly. Well done!

Ready, steady...go

That's it. My long distance course is starting in 3 days' time. That's if the courrier services make the delivery as promised T+1, i.e. tomorrow. Before mid-day to be precise. On one hand, I'm really excited about diving into the materials and intrigue myself by finding all the answers that I've been asking in the course of my work. On the other hand, I'm a little scared. What if I can't cope. What if my confidence slips away while discovering that I have trouble with maths and writing good arguments for my assignments. What if I don't have enough time for my husband....and later baby and household chores.

We'll see....no wonder why having time-management skills is an asset nowadays. By hook or by crook, I'm determined to get through this this time.

(New) Rhythm & (Monday) blues

This month has been superb. We have long weekend almost every week. It feels like working for a few days and then rest for a few days and then so on. I like this new rhythm. How I wish it lasts forever. The only possiblity to make this a reality is when I have school-going kids and when I decide to take a pay cut in order to have a permanent Wednesday off (for the kids). This is one thing I like about living in France. Never mind about the pay cut, time is gold!

I'm so looking forward to our weekend getaway in Lisbon end of this month. Yeah, that's another long weekend in France. We've been reasonable and not disposing our bonus on entertainment and holidays. We're saving up for something.....BIG. I don't know about you, but I'm a strong believer in savings. Never mind about not going to the fancy Mauritius or Maldives for a beach holiday, having hard cash in hand is king!

Here's what our big project is about. Buying a house. House...as in rooted on the ground. The idea seems overwhelming at first when we first discovered the price tags in the Parisian suburbs. Again, we're reasonable people, we're not buying a chateau. The range of options in the Parisian region is wide enough for us to make an optimum selection of size, location, amenities, authenticity, etc......vs. price.

Lets see...what will we be doing to fully enjoy this weekend. Oh, did I mention that this upcoming weekend is also 3 days long? We have taken tickets to see the Andy Warhol exhibition at the Grand Palais. We would also need to do some household chores. A major re-organisation in our study room is needed as I will start my master's degree programme in June. I'm looking forward to studying again but I feel anxious at the same time. It has been a long time since I have done my bachelor's. My maths might be a bit rusty, I think I should be able to recall the concepts quickly once I'm shown some examples.

We shall do some sports too. Golf. Sounds like a plan. Yoga, swimming, walking.....anything but working.